"Fall From Grace"

written by

Most beings in this universe spend their life either denying, or in paralyzed obsession about, the end of their personal existence. But for some, that final moment is a release from a life which has gone terribly wrong. Against all instinct and ethic, they invite its arrival with a joy life could never have brought.

Akala Wilmarza pondered that possibility for the third time in the last eight hours, taking little note of the joy being experienced by nearly everyone else around her.  She knew this kind of dark rumination was to be expected. She'd have been worried if she hadn't been thinking those thoughts.

It was all part of the grieving process.

But being a professional counselor in Starfleet couldn't keep her safe from the pain wrecking her soul, nor would it stop it. It actually made it worse.

Who counsels the counselor?

She'd lost the love of her life, Lak Negev, because she thought she'd been doing her duty. Now she resided in her own special corner of hell, suffering in ways she never imagined.

Better to have loved and lost than never having...

She knocked back another full glass of Vegan Whiskey.

I wonder if this stuff can kill me? That's it, I'll drink myself to death. Relatively painless, right?

She smiled at the empty glass and waved over the bartender. "How about another one?"

"Sure thing, sweetheart." He poured from the bottle.

"Leave that here."

He paused a moment. "You trying to work up your courage for something?"

"You could say that."

He looked her up and down. "Seems to me a woman like you could find a better way to spend an evening."

She took the bottle from him. "I had considered that." She topped off her glass.

"I'm done here in an hour... if you're interested."

"I thought the help here on Risa was discouraged from interacting with the paying customers."

He grinned, leaning forward. "Looks to me like you could use someone to talk to, and as I gather a counselor is out of the question, a bartender is the next best thing."

"Thank you." She touched his hand, sensing his intentions, at lease in part, were honorable. "If I were rational, you'd be right." She took another long drink. "But rationality won't get me out of this. Neither will talk."

"All the more reason to talk. No pain ever got better being bottled up."

She took his hand in hers, then up to her lips, kissing it gently. "Maybe another time, if there is another time."

He gave a quick nod, hesitating a moment as if thinking of something else to say, but instead moved down the length of the bar to another patron.

Perhaps he's right. Maybe I should have one evening where I might forget. Is that too much to ask of the universe before it crushes my spirit into dust?

Akala turned about, facing the tables in the brightly lit establishment. She pulled at the front of her orange dress, making sure she was showing as much cleavage as her abundant breasts could muster.

Suddenly she felt her hand tremble. At first she thought it might have been the alcohol, but understood it was far more basic.

She almost laughed aloud at herself. Of all the times to be afraid.

Finding a male had always come easy for Akala when she was at the Academy. Her female friends had marveled at the ease with which she attracted nearly any man she was interested in.

And there had been quite a few back then. The largest percentage had been human, but she had taken the opportunity to sample other species' male representatives, as well as several females.

Life had been perfect then. No attachments, no heartbreak.

What had gone so wrong?

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She knew exactly what had gone wrong.

Love.

If she had just been satisfied with the great sex they'd started their relationship with...

Her thoughts were interrupted by a tall male, drink in hand, striding up beside her.

"So are you an Orion?" he asked.

How many times had she heard that opening line? Akala pointed at the ridges in her forehead. "M'naran."

He nodded, looking her over again. "Any relation to the Orions?"

"If you mean genetically, I've never checked."

"But sexually?" he asked with a hopeful grin.

"There is a way you could find out." She hadn't used the Orion trick in nearly fifteen years. Hadn't needed to. She'd always hated how men expected her to perform, rather than engaging in mutual pleasure. It's the expectation this game always set up.

But as much as she disliked it, she couldn't stand the thought of spending another night alone. She needed to be touched, and by someone who could at least pretend they gave a damn.

This man was human. They always tended to get emotionally involved even when the sex was supposed to be without strings. That might prove useful.

"You have a room?" he asked.

"Doesn't everyone on Risa?" she replied with a smile. She got up from her chair, and called him with her eyes.

He followed obediently.

***

An hour later, Akala was back on the same barstool, her pain only having been alleviated for a brief few minutes. The man had been wholly unremarkable, but she'd given him what he'd wanted. After a few "it was the best ever" and "I've never had a man as good as you"'s, he'd left happy.

He hadn't wanted to spend the night with her after he'd had his release and reassurance.

She realized a minute after he'd gone that her instincts had kicked in and her attitude had become that of the counselor again, treating a person in need.

What the hell about my needs?! When do those get addressed?! When does someone care about me?!

The next shift's bartender greeted her, providing a bottle of Yixian Rum.

As she poured the red liquid into a glass, Akala realized she hadn't even asked the man she'd had sex with his name.

That might be the best policy for the rest of the evening.

No attachments. No strings. No names.

Akala scanned the faces in the bar this time, noticing only a few of those present earlier still remained. And those seemed to be drowning in their own misery.

No, I'm not here to help them. Everyone else can stay in their own hell tonight. No more help for anyone... but me.

Just as she was about to turn back to the bar and her drink, her eye caught the face of a man entering the large room. At first her mind only registered a mild recognition. But then the pattern matched a name in her memory.

Kyle Hoffman?!

She spun on her stool, hoping he hadn't seen her.

What the hell is that little shit doing here?

Despite the usual ethical concerns, Akala let her mind search out his thoughts, hoping it might give her some sense of what brought him to this planet, this bar.

To her surprise, she couldn't read much except a dull telepathic noise. She stared at her drink.

Damn it, this crap must be wrecking my ability to...

"Well, imagine finding you of all people here on Risa!"

Akala wished she could crawl into her glass. But she did her best to act surprised as she turned to face him.

"Hoffman?"

He took the stool next to hers and got the bartender's attention. "I'll have whatever she's having. And bring her another."

"Sorry," Akala said. "I make it a rule never to drink with patients."

He grinned and nodded to the bartender who went on his way. "Haven't you and Captain McCall had drinks together?"

"No. I don't think so."

He grabbed a couple of peanuts from a nearby bowl. "Rumor has it on the Chamberlain that the two of you... Well, it was just a rumor."

"Sorry, I stay away from married people myself."

"Good one, Counselor. Good one," he laughed. "Fortunately, I leave it to the married person to decide the parameters of their vows and their behavior. A lot more fun that way."

The bartender brought over their drinks and quickly left. Kyle took a cautious sip of his.

"I wouldn't have expected you to place yourself under a moral microscope, Mr, Hoffman. Your psychological profile makes that quite clear."

"I'm probably one of the most moral people you have ever met."

She nearly spit her drink into the air. "Delusional too, huh?"

He grinned. "You must have left that out of your last report on me. You know the one you sent to Starfleet just before we arrived back at Delta Ophiuchus?"

"How would you know..." Now she was mad. "I don't know who broke protocol, but I'll find out and have your little friend's career smashed before sunrise!"

"Relax, Akala. You're not important enough to take down an admiral. So stow the self-righteousness."

"You'd be surprised what could happen if I made a big enough stink with Starfleet Medical." She watched him a second, noticing the grin on his face. "You've come here to get me to change it, haven't you?"

"When I first learned about it, yes. That's why I made my way to Risa." He took a slow drink. "But then I got word the report had been buried so deep it would never see the light of day again, so changing it didn't matter."

She didn't want to believe it, but Akala had suspected this had been the fate of all her reports on Hoffman since he'd joined the Chamberlain crew. With anyone else, he'd have been assigned to surface duty with an intense, and mandatory, counseling schedule. But none of her follow-up inquiries had ever brought a response.

In her professional opinion, Kyle Hoffman was an immature brat who'd been given license to violate far too many rules, and who'd been handed assignments he'd never earned.

But all that was beside the point at the moment. "Then why is my evening being ruined by you?"

Hoffman turned on his stool toward her. "To be honest, my friends in the admiralty have told me their favors have come to an end."

"Sorry to hear that," she said with a chuckle. "Must be so hard for you to finally have to face life like the rest of us."

He leaned over his drink. "Something like that," he murmured.

"Don't expect me to feel sorry for you."

"I don't."

"Good. Then do you mind?" she asked, pointing to the door.

"Do you..." He finished his glass off. "Do you have any idea what it's like to have your life fall apart? To have the people you relied on turn their backs on you? I know I've led a privileged career in Starfleet, but those were the rules I knew, so I used them to my advantage."

Akala forced herself to remain stonefaced. No, I'm not going to show him any sympathy. He doesn't deserve it!

"Admiral Olanski has helped me ever since... ever since my mom died." He motioned the bartender for another drink. "She's been like a second mother to me."

Akala knew about his mother's death, and how Olanski had more or less adopted him. The two women had gone through the Academy together, been the best of friends. This kind of thing was far more common than most people outside Starfleet knew.

"To have her so angry at me that now she only speaks to me through her chief of staff is like... shit... my world is ruined," Kyle said, downing his second glass at once. "The only person who I was ever sure gave a damn about me has turned her back on me!"

"That's never easy." Damn it, did I say that? That's it. No more sympathy.

He stared at his empty glass. "Everything I thought was true about my life is gone. Nothing makes sense any more."

Akala felt suddenly drawn back down into her own private hell again. This was no longer sympathy, but empathy. She knew exactly how he felt.

"Sometimes it's hard to see how to go on." But Akala didn't know if that was more for her or him.

"I've thought about resigning from Starfleet, but where do I go? This was my mom's..." He closed his eyes. "It was her dream I'd carry on what she began."

"You can't live other people's dreams, Kyle." This time she caught the bartender's attention, and pointed to their empty glasses. "Maybe it's time you found your own."

"But my mom..."

"She's dead. That was terrible. But you don't owe it to her to lead a life of misery."

More the misery he caused other people. If I help him to see Starfleet isn't the place for him, I'll be doing my job and getting an unqualified officer out of the service. Olanski might change her mind about not helping him, so this may be the only way I can do it.

But somehow that didn't reassure Akala much. She still detested this small-minded man, no boy, who... no.

He was someone in need. That's all that mattered.

And if I'm focused on his problems, maybe I can forget my own for a while.

"No, I can't give up on the dream. I'm gonna show everybody that my mother did not die in vain. I won't let them beat me. Mom had a good dream. It's the only dream you can have--- to make a difference. I'm gonna win it for her."

"That's the wrong way to look at it." She placed her hand on his shoulder. "Kyle, you have to know who you are. Look into your heart, past all the expectations others have placed on you. See the person you want to be."

"But I can't just..." He slowly nodded. "I don't know. Yeah, maybe... maybe."

Akala hated using her telepathic abilities to shape his thoughts like this. She couldn't really change his choices, but she could present ones he hadn't considered in the best possible light. She'd never committed an ethical breech like this before, but maybe it was about time she did. Why should people continue to suffer when she could help them? And who better than Kyle Hoffman? He needed to be out of Starfleet before someone died as a result of his bad choices.

"What is it you want to do?"

He sat in silence.

"There's got to be something, some dream you've left buried in your heart." She did her best to search through his mind, to see where he was going. But the drink still clouded her view.

"I thought I loved archaeology. There was always so much excitement when I discovered something." He paused. "But it seemed more a means to an end than something I enjoyed just for itself."

"Perhaps you should take the next few weeks of leave and search your heart for what you want to do."

"Yeah," he said, but less hopeful sounding than she would have liked.

"What is it?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. I should probably go."

Kyle slid a credit chip down to the bartender and stood from his stool. "I'm sorry I came here to bother you."

She smiled. "At least I got a couple of drinks out of it."

He turned to go, but she grabbed his arm. "Are you staying here in the city?"

"Yeah, over at the Pandlis Hotel."

Something about all this didn't seem right to Akala. She worried he was far too despondent to leave on his own, and that he might do something...

Like what I was toying with?

But was it that? Or something else?

She needed to clear her head. A good night's sleep would help.

Like it or not, she felt a bond to Hoffman, one which enabled her to see more of herself in him than she was comfortable with.

"How about we talk more over lunch tomorrow?" she asked.

"No. I should leave you alone. You have a right to enjoy your leave."

"To be honest, before you stopped by, I wasn't enjoying it very much."

He looked lost in thought for several seconds. "Okay, there's an open air restaurant out on the beach just behind the Pandlis."

"I know it."

"Noon sound good?"

"That's fine."

He gave her a nod and was gone.

Akala turned back to her glass, finishing the last of her drink.

I hope I'm not making a big mistake.

***

They spent three hours at lunch the next day discussing Kyle Hoffman's life and the mess he'd made of it. Akala was glad that for a change, he actually seemed to be participating in the counseling rather than merely going through the motions.

As their conversation wound down, her telepathic sense indicated Kyle not only had become more relaxed working through his problems, but was finally at ease around her. This reached a zenith at the end of their lunch when the conversation turned to more incidental aspects of both their lives, allowing them to laugh together about some of the less than stellar events in each of their pasts.

But Akala couldn't let that dominate their time, not while this opening into his mind remained.

"Have you ever considered how you behaved toward Mei-Wan?"

He appeared caught off guard by that. She almost thought she detected a brief flash of anger, but it faded quickly.

"In all honesty, I've tried not to," he said. "There are a lot of things I would do differently concerning Mei-Wan. I miss the friendship she and I used to have; how we worked together." He smiled a moment. "You know Mei and I almost..." He left the rest unsaid.

Akala only nodded, hoping he'd volunteer more. She took the pause to enjoy the sunshine which had erupted from behind the clouds above.

"I would have told her how I felt much earlier."

Akala watched him closely. "Sometimes we let our fears keep us from saying how we really feel."

He leaned forward, lowering his voice. "I had been hurt before, and I guess I was afraid I would be again."

That brought to Akala's mind her own pain, but she did her best to bury it. She wanted to stay focused on Hoffman.

"Do you think we should always tell another person how we really feel?" he asked.

"Most of the time, yes," she answered. "Of course, there are times when it isn't appropriate, but those are far fewer than we think."

He took his fork through the remains of the chocolate cake on his plate, tracing a pattern she couldn't make out.

His eyes suddenly turned to lock onto hers. "I'm glad I ran into you here. This has helped me more than you can know."

She couldn't help but smile. "Based on the talk we've had, have you come to any decisions?"

"I think I need to consider leaving Starfleet. It's obvious I'm not really cut out for it. Perhaps a research position somewhere would do me some good. Maybe at a university. I think that might give me the space I need."

Akala almost questioned his sincerity, but the thoughts she sensed from him confirmed his words.

"Hey, how about we celebrate my new direction? I hear there's a theater troupe of Klingons doing MacBeth on the other side of town tonight. You want to join me?"

Part of her resisted the notion--- he had been her patient in the past--- but if he was leaving Starfleet that wouldn't be an issue any longer. And besides, she was feeling too good about herself now to turn down an evening of fun.

"I'd like that very much."

***

After the play, which Akala had to admit she enjoyed immensely, they returned to the bar they'd met in the night before, alternating between laughing about life on the Chamberlain and drinking the oddest things they could find on the bar menu.

"I think you're drunk," Kyle said, his own voice sluggish.

"You are too," Akala said, leaning forward until she noticed how doing so let the front of her dress open to reveal her breasts to him. Actually, she noticed his gaze drop first. He didn't linger long.

Much to her surprise, Akala found herself pleased more than embarrassed. While she could sense a sexual element to his thoughts, there was more than that when he looked at her. He cared about her.

The realization of a commonality of experience between them had grown throughout the day and evening. She had gone beyond learning about Kyle Hoffman the patient, and now felt a connection to the man's soul. Akala didn't know if he felt it as strongly given he lacked any telepathic abilities, but there was definitely an attraction.

He had been so attentive before the play when she had explained what had happened between her and Lak Negev. For the first time since that particular spear of pain had thrust itself into her heart, she felt like she wasn't alone. Someone else cared about her side of it.

"I think we should call it an evening," he said.

"Do we have to?" she asked with more than a touch of sadness in her voice.

He stood, smiling, and extended his hand to her. "I'll walk you back to your room."

She followed his lead, finding she needed his help more than she'd realized.

That last batch of stuff... what the hell was that anyway... it's really doing bad things to my coordination.

Kyle put his arm around her waist as they neared her room. The night air returned some clarity to her mind as they walked. But the warmth of his body against hers took away that clarity and more.

When they reached her room, he released Akala, letting her stand against her door.

"I had a great evening," Kyle said. "Thank you for everything."

She hesitated. Her mind resisted what her heart cried out for. The combination of alcohol and desire not to spend another night alone finally won out.

Akala leaned forward and kissed him. Hoffman took her in his arms.

This isn't right. I shouldn't be...

The hell with that! Why am I the only one who has to play by the rules? I've know plenty of counselors who had...

She felt so warm and safe in his arms, a feeling she hadn't experienced in weeks, and one she missed as someone naked in winter misses clothes.

I'll have my regrets tomorrow, she thought. But tonight, I'm going to enjoy being alive.

Akala reached behind her, touching the door's keypad. The entrance slid away. She pulled him into her room, quickly closing the door behind them. In less than a minute, each removed the other's clothing. Kyle took her in his arms, gently placing her on the bed at the center of the room.

He paused to look down at her body and smiled. "You are so beautiful," he whispered.

His skin against hers felt as if she had just slipped into a warm bath.

"Make me feel beautiful," she begged. "Make my heart soar again."

Akala felt him press against her. A moment later, she repressed a whimper as he entered her. To her relief, she was ready for him far more than she suspected.

He pulled back for a second, then thrust into her again, and again.

And again.

A steady rhythm at first, but soon his intensity matched her longing. She wrapped her long green legs about him, pulling him in with each thrust.

Akala drowned in the heat of their merged bodies. The aroma of his sweat was more intoxicating than the alcohol she had consumed. Several drops formed on his brow. She leaned up to taste them. She savored the saltiness, next taking her tongue across his cheek.

After several minutes, she lost track of time and place. She just knew they were together.

She wasn't alone. This time, Akala felt loved.

***

Akala rolled over, searching for her lover's warmth. She couldn't tell how much time had passed. Two, maybe three hours. It was still dark out the window.

Finally, her eyes focused on a chair across the room.

Her heart nearly broke in that moment.

Kyle Hoffman sat, pulling his pants on.

"What are you doing?" her voice cracked.

"Getting dressed." He looked at her and smiled. "It's about six."

Akala's worry calmed a bit. "Really? I didn't realize."

Kyle stood and put his shirt on. "I've got some things to take care of this morning, but thought maybe we could get together around noon."

"Is what you have to do really all that important?"

"I'm afraid so."

"What do you want to do at noon? Lunch?"

"Actually, I thought we might go to the spaceport. There's a company that runs a ship for suborbital diving. You ever try it?"

"No," she said, noticing more of his thoughts than before.

Something isn't right here.

He walked over to her, smiling wide. He ran his hand over her bare skin.

But this time, the things in his mind caused Akala to pull away. They were dark, erupting out of him like demons from the pit of some horrible abyss she hadn't thought possible.

"No!" she cried, pulling a sheet onto her to offer what barrier it could between them. "This isn't possible!"

"Very possible," he nodded. "If you know the right people." He held up a small vial of red pills. "I suspected it would wear off by morning, but wasn't sure if the alcohol you poured down your throat would still cover my tracks. That's why I was trying to leave before you woke."

"You drugged me?!"

"No," he said, dropping a pill from the vile into his mouth. "This is a telepathic inhibitor. Hard to get, but I know a few Orions who deal in such rare items."

"But I read your thoughts, I could tell you were..."

"Like I said, these keep telepaths out of someone's mind, but if I focus on certain thoughts, those make it through. This keeps the telepath from realizing they're being blocked."

"You little bastard," she spat. "You did all of this just to sleep with me?!"

"No, though I did enjoy the sex," he said with a twisted grin. "With us involved in a sexual relationship, your previous reports aren't worth a damn, and now you can't very well continue to be my counselor. Starfleet will require I report to someone else on the Chamberlain's counseling staff, someone who won't be nearly as self-righteous as you, and they'll likely be someone I can convince to take a more sympathetic view of me in their reports. I'm pretty good at that."

Akala wrapped the sheet around her body. "That shit you told me, was any of it true?"

"You mean about Olanski?"

"Yeah."

"All of it. She won't help me any longer. She's cut me off completely." He stared off into air. "I wish it had been made up. Sometimes the truth..."

A tremor in his face gave her the impression that before this moment, the impact of Olanski turning against him had never hit him full force. He almost looked as if he might cry.

But that moment quickly evaporated.

"You are such a piece of shit, Kyle!" She knew that hurt him, she could still detect his thoughts. Before the pill he swallowed took effect, she wanted the satisfaction of knowing she'd caused him as much pain as she could.

"I'm no different from anyone else," he said with a harsher tone. "I was trapped. Olanski had abandoned me, so I did what I had to do."

"Did you ever consider being a better person? A better officer?"

"I am who I am, Akala. The universe owes me for my mother's death." He leaned toward her. "And it's going to keep owing me for a very long time."

"You used me," she said, cursing herself for opening up like that.

"No more than you used me. I saw the desperation in your eyes in that bar. You needed someone to give a damn. I know what that's like."

Something about him didn't make sense. She could still read him openly, and there was sympathy in him for her. "But it was a lie."

"No, I do give a damn about you." He sat down on the bed. "Akala, I know you feel betrayed right now. But last night was great. I know you feel the same way. We could build on this, have a relationship..."

"Are you insane?! Do you think after you did this I could ever trust you?!"

"Nobody ever trusts anyone. Not really. Only a fool says he does." He looked into her eyes. "Lak Negev made that mistake. You and I know better."

"Get out!"

Kyle stood. "I'll be on Risa for another three days. I'd really like to see you again. Maybe by tonight you'll be over this momentary anger and..."

"I said get out you bastard!"

He complied this time without another word.

Akala fell back on the bed, wishing it wasn't there so she could crash into some pit a hundred kilometers within the bowels of the planet.

"My god, what have I done?!" she cried out to the universe. "My career, my reputation, my life?!"

She screamed her lungs out until five minutes later, she was too hoarse to speak.

But then a single thought formed in her mind. She was afraid at first, but the more she considered it, the more she liked it.

But they'll think you're a coward.

No, they'll never know. Before Hoffman destroys my career, I'll seal it in a sympathetic cocoon no one will ever bother to unravel.

She sat up on the bed. "But I have to do it just right. The exact mechanics are the difficult part. Hmmm..."

Akala started to feel good. Her mind had turned itself inside out over the pain and betrayal. Nothing mattered but resolving all of it to her advantage.

What was it Hoffman had said they might do later today?

She walked to her suitcase and pulled out a bright blue pantsuit.

"Suborbital diving? Was that it?"

She set aside the clothes and went to the terminal in her room which connected to Risa's information service. She touched a few controls and in less than a minute, she found it.

"Now as long as I can find details on the equipment."

There it was, everything she needed.

Another thought blossomed. If she did one other thing, she could place the blame at Hoffman's feet. That suited her just fine.

She laughed as she headed to the shower.

***

Akala stood at the airlock door as the diving supervisor checked her suit a third time. She did her best to make sure he wouldn't notice.

He finished, flashing her a smile.

His voice came over the comm unit in her ear, "Don't worry, you'll do fine. The idea is to enjoy yourself."

She gave him a nod. "I will."

More than he knows.

Kyle Hoffman walked up next to her in his own diving suit. "I'm glad you decided to come along for this."

"I am too," she said with a smile. "I realized you were right. You're just the kind of practical man I've always needed in my life."

Hoffman nodded. "Then you're not sore about..."

"I've moved on from that."

"Good."

She could see he wasn't buying it completely, but he didn't need to. She just needed to continue the charade for the another minute or so.

The diving supervisor tapped her face visor. "Twenty seconds. You set?"

"Ready."

He used his fingers to count down for her.

The airlock door opened. Without a moment's hesitation, Akala leaped into space.

Looking down at Risa, she wondered what had brought people to this world in the first place.

Another thing she'd never know.

The feeling of weightlessness faded ever so slightly. She had already made contact with the atmosphere. The instructor had told them all to turn their back to the planet, but Akala wanted to face this part head on.

She reached into the pocket on her suit, and pulled out the small blade she'd hidden there.

The plasma glow began. Faint at first, but after a minute it intensified to the point she couldn't see the planet any longer.

She felt her weight now, and more.

She didn't have much time before the blade would be yanked out of her hand. If she was going to do this it was now or not at all.

Akala sank the sharp edge into the suit at her midsection. A warning alarm sounded in her ear comm.

She pulled the blade across her abdomen, but at the end of her motion, the plasma took it from her hand.

It didn't matter. She'd done it.

There was only one last thing to do. She tapped the small box in her pocket. Instantly she heard a crackle on her comm. The unit was operating, sending its interference.

Akala began to feel the heat as it entered the interior of her re-entry suit.

More alarms sounded in her suit.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?!" It was the diving supervisor.

She twisted herself around, looking up into space. In the far distance she could see the transport she'd jumped from, and more importantly, she saw another figure who'd jumped just a moment earlier.

Hoffman. He would see everything.

"Ms Wilmarza, come in! We're reading multiple failure warnings from your re-entry suit!"

"Everything is okay," Akala said. "Don't worry, you did nothing wrong. I hid the blade from you."

"We're going to transport you, stand by!"

"I'm blocking transport," she told him. "It isn't your fault." She didn't want the poor man being blamed for this.

"Akala, what are you doing?!" Hoffman's voice blared over her comm.

"You, however, are to blame, Kyle, at least in part. You used me to protect your career, now I'm taking that away from you. I sent a letter to Starfleet two hours ago detailing how you followed me here and why."

"Akala, don't! This is insane!"

The heat became unbearable.

"My life is insane, Kyle. You're just the last piece, the one I couldn't take."

Another few seconds and it would be over. She'd vaporize into a billion molecules, just another collection of matter scattered into space.

A burst of material spit out of the cut on her suit, causing her to tumble out of control. Everything was a blur now.

I love you, Lak...

That was her last thought before the full force of the heated plasma touched her skin.

The next moment...